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A Queer Was Here

A Beginner's Guide to All Things Queer... in 10 Minutes or Less
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Sep 10, 2017

Today's episode is the first personal story episode, and it is on name choice and meaning. I talk about what each part of my name symbolizes to me, and discuss why misnaming is so painful.

Find my site and contact me here.

Leave a review here.

Note: Apologies for last month's audio quality. I was trying a few new methods, and my headphones were having issues. This month is an improvement, and next month should be better still as I experiment with various recording locations and devices in my new home.

Aug 10, 2017

Today's episode is the second part of a guide on making workplaces more trans-inclusive. It discusses the importance of offering gender identity protection for trans employees in the EEOC, and enforcing those protections, providing spots for preferred name and pronouns on application and non-binary gender options, teaching non-gendered ways of addressing customers and co-workers, and why anonymous reporting options are valuable.

Find my site and contact me here.

Leave a review here.

Jun 7, 2017

Today's episode is the first part of a guide on making workplaces more trans-inclusive. It discusses trans healthcare, bathroom policies, dress codes, educational modules, and "do" and "don't"s for questions you might want to ask trans folks. Part Two will be released July 1, 2017.

Find my site and contact me here.

Leave a review here.

Apr 1, 2017

Today's episode is a primer on a variety of aromantic relationships, from squishes to lust-crushes to QPs, with a poem on romantic gestures as an aromantic individual.

Find my site and contact me here.

Leave a review here.

Mar 1, 2017

"Understanding Dysphoria" discusses dysphoria through a story, a poem, and a link, with the goal of making the feeling more understandable to those who do not experience it themselves.

Link: Amy Dentata's article on dysphoria

Link: WPATH Standards of Care, V7 (PDF)

Link: Buzzfeed article about dealing with dysphoria

Find my site and contact me here.

Leave a review here.

Jan 15, 2017

As a polyamorous grayromantic pansexual genderqueer gentleman with a large social circle, I've come out of more closets than most. As a public speaker and trans educator, many of those coming-out experiences have been on a stage. Whether I'm coming out to a crowd of strangers or one-on-one with a person I've known my whole life, though, every "coming out" has taught me something.

This episode I discuss number five through eight of the most important lessons I've learned from coming out.

To find out more about me and the other things I do, go here.

Jan 1, 2017

As a polyamorous grayromantic pansexual genderqueer gentleman with a large social circle, I've come out of more closets than most. As a public speaker and trans educator, many of those coming-out experiences have been on a stage. Whether I'm coming out to a crowd of strangers or one-on-one with a person I've known my whole life, though, every "coming out" has taught me something.

This episode I discuss four of the eight most important lessons I've learned from coming out. Part Two will be released January 15.

To find out more about me and the other things I do, go here.

Dec 1, 2016

"Types of Polyamory" discusses the meaning of polyamory, busts the "no jealousy" myth, and discusses eight common types of polyamory.

Find the articles mentioned in the episode below:

The Short Instructional Manifesto for Relationship Anarchy

Relationship Anarchy Takes the Judgement Out of Love

Find the books mentioned in the episode below:

The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures

Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships

Nov 16, 2016

"Activism and Survival" discusses fear following America's recent election, twenty actions you can take to deal with that fear and be an activist, and twenty self-care tips for overwhelm and burn-out prevention.

Nov 1, 2016

“Sexual Orientation vs Romantic Orientation vs Aesthetic Attraction” defines the terms and how they interact, providing an easy framework for understanding the meaning of each. It is followed by a poem from my first book (titled “Stardust”).

Oct 16, 2016

“Gender and Bathrooms” peels back the lid on the fear that trans individuals often face when choosing a bathroom, and explains how you can help with that fear.

Here’s a link to the gender-neutral bathroom finder mentioned in the podcast: REFUGE Restrooms.

Oct 1, 2016

This episode of “A Queer Was Here” is on Aromantic Basics, and defines the word “aromantic”, discusses what romantic feelings are, and talks about the difference between romance and sexuality and the many types of love.

For further resources, you can find my website here.

Sep 17, 2016

My little brother was the first to call me a gentleman, and my eyes lit up like electricity. I’d just discovered that I liked male pronouns, but I hadn’t yet realized what a powerful word gentleman could be. It’s more than just a word for a man. It’s praise.

My gender is still far from simple, but there’s something undoubtedly delightful about the combination of “gentle” and “man”. It implies that the typically underrated quality of gentleness in males is in fact something to aspire to, not mock. And the way it feels in the mouth as my tongue rolls out the word… It’s beautiful.

It has such exquisite meaning, too. It brings to mind holding open doors and pulling out chairs and taking the time to listen. I can’t say I’m a perfect listener, but these are things I desire to be.

Perhaps, after all, gentleman is simply an ideal that leaves us striving to better ourselves, and isn’t that why we are here? I want to be a gentleman in the fullest sense of the word: not just on Tuesdays, or with someone I love, but always.

Call me a gentleman only when I’ve earned it, but call me a gentleman.

Sep 15, 2016

This episode of “A Queer Was Here” is on Sex vs. Gender vs. Gender Expression, and defines each of those terms and discusses the similarities and differences between them. It is followed by a poem on the topic discussed, and then a TED Talk recommendation on Ending Gender.

You can find the TED Talk I mentioned here: TEDxHouston: “Ending Gender” by Scott Turner Schofield.

Sep 1, 2016

This episode of “A Queer Was Here” is on “Understanding Consent” and gives a simple definition of consent, followed by a detailed explanation of each part of the definition, and then a poem on the topic discussed. I also mention a spoken word poem on the topic by Guante and a video explaining consent through tea.

You can find the spoken word poem I mentioned here: “Consent at 10,000 Feet” by Guante

You can find the video "Tea and Consent" here: Tea and Consent

You can find the post I wrote on my website that inspired this episode here: Understanding Consent

Aug 15, 2016

This episode of “A Queer Was Here” is on “How to Respond If Someone Tells You Their Body Is Not Their Gender” and gives a simple five-step response, followed by an original poem on the topic, reviews of two of my favorite books by transgender authors, and a review of a TED Talk video on the topic.

Here’s a link to the first book I mentioned on Amazon: The Nearest Exit May Be Behind You

Here’s a link to the second book on Amazon: Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation

Here’s a link to the TED Talk: Geena Rocero “Why I Must Come Out”

Here’s a link to my post which inspired this episode: How to Respond When Someone Tells You Their Body is Not Their Gender

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